Understanding the Rational
The mot damaging sentence in any language is:
‘It’s always been done that way.’” – Grace Hopper -
Sometimes we do the things the way it has always been done – because it was well thought out and the reasons were true at that point of moment. However, sometimes the situation and reasons no longer apply. The world is constantly changing… and we need to change to adapt and be relevant. Understanding and appreciating the reasons and situation behind a certain way we do things is vital. When you do something – understand why you do what you do – don’t just assume that is the only way.
Change for the sake of change is not what I am advocating. Change too comes with responsibility – to make it even better and to make it even easier. When you are in the initial process of change, first appreciate why things were the way they are. By learning to appreciate what were – your change will be even more impactful and meaningful. You will be able to address the people who ‘wants things as they always are’ with respect and earning their trusts and get their buy-in effortlessly.
Take a moment each day to reflect – on what you do each day – and ask yourself these questions:
- why do I need to do this?
- how can I make it even better? or easier?
After thinking through and identifying the areas you want to change, ask yourselves these questions:
- how am I contributing with the change?
- what positive difference am I making?
Life is not just about adapting to change. We all can advocate change – we all can be the advocator of change. We all can choose to lead.
Be Positively MAD
Be positively MAD – Making a Difference.
Who we are makes a difference in the lives of people around us. We impact each other as our lives crossed. Take time to reflect how others have impact your lives, and how every thing that we do, say and behave impacts the world around us.
This is truly an inspiring video on how lives are being transformed:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtvUn2PR8cs&feature=colike
It’s vital for us to know how we want to live our lives – what it says about who we are, the legacy we want to leave behind – our integrity and values. When everything quiets down – it is not the material success you achieve, it is more than the car you drive, it is more than the house you live in, – rather it is the love you share, the contribution you make, the memories you leave behind, it is the positive difference you make being who you are.
We can simply enjoy life and savor a rich experience of what life has to offer, and what we can offer. Life is a wonderful journey of sweet adventure and predictable phases. Let’s all be positively MAD. Let’s go out there and be positively making a difference.
Tribute to my Aunt – Koon On Swee
My aunt, Baby Ee as she is fondly known to us, passed away on Friday at 1240am 2Dec 2011 at the age of 65. She leaves behind a loving husband, 2 children and 3 grandchildren.
My aunt is full of grace even with little education in her upbringing, she and her husband has crafted a great life for themselves from scrap. My uncle was reminiscing old time stories for all of us, and one which touched my heart, was how at a tender age of 22 he had saved a total of RM200 – and how through courting my aunt – had spent it all in a month. He will take her for the movies sitting right in front [to save money], and then to supper to have took-thok mee. They have both fallen in love with each other – and have since built a beautiful life together. The couples were loving and caring to each other. They are married for 42 years.
My uncle was a very conservative man, and they saved up all they can. When I was young, he does sometimes seems like ‘Scrooge’. Life was difficult when they were young, but they were hard working, honest and dedicated their lives to build what they have today together. My aunt on the other hand, was very charitable and always helped with little ‘handouts’ to her younger siblings whenever she can. Soon, she transformed my uncle – making him a much happier and open person.
My auntie suffered from colon cancer, and relentless steps were taken to support and treat her. Her family has been her ROCK and their unconditional love has sustain her for over 5 years.
I made it back to Penang on Thursday and we manage to see her. She was still very lucid, jovial and happy to see so many people visit her. Although she was tired, she would not close her eyes… so I requested my youngest Aunt Sally to sing to her… while we held her hands… after a while, Aunt Sally stopped, and Baby ee said, ‘eh what happened record jam ker?’(in hokkien), it was hilarious. She was still sharp and her little interjections were light and humorous. Even in her weak state, her core being still shines… to make the world a happier place. She still manages to make us all laugh and she was laughing along with us. She has made a positive difference in this world.
What I will remember most about her:
She is gracious, she cooks great laksa [which we are there to savor every CNY], she loves to play mahjong, she is modest and humble, she is a great seamstress, she is a clean freak [hahaha runs in the family], she loves white, she is a christian, she loves children, she gave me my favorite t-shirt of all time [with a pixie print, that i would wear almost everyday when I was about 7 (after laundry, mind you), of which i was nicknamed Pixie], she is charitable, she loves her siblings and families, she is generally soft and quiet [in comparison to the noisy lot we are], she loves to joke, she was very house proud, she is a great wife, mother, grandmother, sister, and auntie.
Baby Ee will be sadly missed and fondly remembered by all in the family. Rest in eternal peace.
Figuring Out People with Meta Programs
We interact with people everyday. It is an invaluable skill to have if we can figure out people. Everyone processes information differently and creates a unique model of the world in which they operate. We all sort and filter information around us.
To fully understand, appreciate and figure people out, we first need to understand how they filter – and in NLP, these filters are called Meta Programs. We use questioning patterns that gives us clues to their preference. We approach this with a deep sense of curiosity, appreciation and respect.
To facilitate your learning on meta program elicitation, I have prepared a series of questions to be posted daily for you to vote, reflect and ask others.
So click on the link now: http://www.facebook.com/NLP.Cert?sk=questions
Share these questions with your friends, peers and families. And do join and like us at http://www.facebook.com/NLP.Cert for more updates and information.
The Praying Hand
The Story Behind The Picture Of The Praying Hands
Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with eighteen children.
Eighteen! In order merely to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade and any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood.
Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of the elder children, Albrecht and Albert, had a dream.
They both wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew full well that their father would never be financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the academy.
After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact.
They would toss a coin. The loser would go down into the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy.
Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring in the mines.
They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg.
Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation.
Albrecht’s etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than those of most of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works.
When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht’s triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled Albrecht to fulfill his ambition.
His closing words were, “And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you.”
All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and over, “No ..no …no ..no.”
Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, “No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg.
It is too late for me. Look … look what four years in the mines have done to my hands!
The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush.
No, brother …for me it is too late.”
More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer’s hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolors, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer’s works. More than merely being familiar with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in your home or office.
One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother’s abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward.
He called his powerful drawing simply “Hands,“ but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love “The Praying Hands.”
The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look.
Let it be your reminder, if you still need one, that no one – no one – - ever makes it alone! And I trust you will remember to stick together no matter what. That you will support each other through the good and challenging times.
